Ladies be the type of person you want to find; Don’t be a nickel out there looking for a dime. Lyfe Jennings

I have always considered myself to be a very good dresser. I love to put colors and patterns together, even down to matching my shoes with my outfits. When I was younger, I was a little tomboy and always wore pants and had the latest sneakers. It wasn’t until I was 19 years old that I started experimenting with makeup and girly clothes, but I still had my tomboy ways.

The reason for my change back then was because I wasn’t really being noticed by the opposite sex. Don’t get me wrong I did have a few boyfriends but when they did notice me, I was just considered the home girl or the cool chick that liked sports. So I started to take noticed that other girls around my age that were getting the guys, were dressing and carrying themselves like young ladies.

The transformation was self taught; I didn’t have a role model around me to teach me how to carry myself like a young lady.( What I can say I learned from my mother was how to keep my hair on point). Even my best friends were tom boys and the older woman that were around me, were the ones that showed IT ALL. So thats what I did, I allowed my shape and curves to dictate what I was going to wear to show off my ASSets.

I did eventually get my wish because the young guys and even some of the men sure did take notice. I got all the unwanted attention I didn’t want and none of the kind I did want. So what I thought was positive attention in actuality it was all negative. I wasn’t really the type to show my breast or wear revealing clothes but I did wear my clothes fitted. As time went by I found my own style and made my own statement.. In that transition I started to pay attention to what type of men I was attracting. Here I am getting mad at these men for coming at me in a sexual manner yet in still it was ME all along that was getting their attention.

I said all this to say, that we as women have to BE THE TYPE OF PERSON WE WANT TO ATTRACT. We have to stop blaming the men for everything and start looking at what we are wearing, what we are not wearing, how we carry ourselves, how we speak, how we take care of our hygiene, our outer appearance and most of all how we are feeling about ourselves. All this plays a major part in who and what we attract even down to our friends. When we are feeling low, depressed,depleted,bitter,lonely and un-pretty, this is the worse time to date. Because it all seeps out of your pores and it releases a spiritual pheromone that attracts the wrong type of man.

You have to keep in mind that men are natural hunters and just like the King of the jungle, they can smell a wounded prey a mile away. So if you are hurting and are found in this state, you’re as good as dead (spiritually). Only until you’re feeling good about yourself should you make yourself available for dating because this will keep most of the weirdos away. Plus you will be in a state of strength were you are able to discern and say no.

Now to my beautiful Christian woman, you don’t have to walk around here looking homely and plan in order to be considered saved, Holy and sanctified. Please do your hair; put on some makeup, it doesn’t have to be caked on. Stop wearing skirts and dresses down to your ankles, over sized suits and those horrible 2 inch kitten heels, (save those for the mothers). I know I might get in trouble for this but, its not attractive not even to the Christian brothers. You don’t have to have anything showing to look attractive,beautiful and snatched. Truth is CONFIDENCE is the most attractive thing a woman can have and it will show every time she walks into a room. Going natural isn’t for everyone and these 30 inch weaves down your back is ridiculous (you know your hair isn’t that long ) and most men hate it. Woman find your own type of beautiful and adorn yourself with dignity, confidence and humility.

I also want to throw this out there, if you have it all together and still are single and no one seems to be checking for you, it’s not you, it’s them. Most men who aren’t really ready to settle down and want to play the field wont pay you any mind because they know the type of woman you are. You are Wife material and they’re not looking for that right now, so they won’t want to ruin a good woman such as yourself. So if you meet a good man that tells you he’s not looking for a relationship right now, BELIEVE HIM! It doesn’t make him a bad man it makes him honest.

You also have to be careful because you have some bold men out there that don’t have themselves together but fake like they do. Those are the ones you have to watch out for, because men get depressed and feel like failures too more than woman. The only difference is that they will deal with a lot of woman to make themselves feel better. If he knows he’s not where he wants to be in life, yet woman are still dealing with him, it strokes his ego and makes him become greedy and selfish. He doesn’t have any remorse until he is caught.

Over all ladies, carry yourself in a manner that will attract what you are saying about yourself. If that isn’t happening, then you have remove yourself from the dating scene and do some self evaluating and reflecting. Who you attract says nothing about the man but says EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU!!

Shawna Seymore,
Minister,Life Coach,Motivational Speaker